190: Sexless Marriage?

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Bring Sex and Intimacy Back Into Your Marriage After Having Kids

So often when I speak to large groups of women, most of the backstage conversations/comments I get are about either women not knowing much about their own bodies and how their lack of sexual desire is hurting their marriage.

You may think what has this got to do with raising Mavericks???? And I say EVERYTHING!  In order for us to have healthy conversations about sex with the kids, we need to address our own sexual hang-ups.

If you are like me, I was raised in a Baptist Church which for better or worse it didn't set me to have a healthy sex life right out of the gate. To say the least :)…

So I found Xanet Pailet and asked her to help us moms try and find our “drive” again..

>>Here are a few things you will learn…

Oxytocin Overload

How the dose of oxytocin that we get from being with our new babies (oxytocin that once came from intimacy with our husbands) satisfies us and lessens our cravings.

Beliefs about how a mother should behave…

Our new role as mothers is often overshadowed by our beliefs about how mothers or fathers should behave. Beliefs that mothers are not sexual pleasure seeking /needing beings.

Bringing little bits of simple pleasure into your life is a great way to start.

Simple things like taking a warm bath, wearing sexy underwear, being mindful when you put on lotion. Paying close attention to what feels good.

It is extremely common for people to have very little knowledge about female genitalia. 

Often sex-ed provided by the schools leaves out the eternal genital of the female body. We learn only about the vagina, fallopian tubs, and ovaries.

What is sex hurts? 

First … don't tolerate it. Sex should not be uncomfortable or painful. We have been taught that sex can and will be painful and that's “just how it is”. But it's not! There are so many things that can cause pain and so many solutions. Xanet provides Holistic Pelvic Care if you feel ready to heal any pain you might be feeling.

Foreplay is your new best friend.

Xanet recommends 30-40m mins at least of foreplay in order to get the woman's body in a state that sex will be pleasurable rather than painful. That sound like a CRAZY amount of “warm-up” time… but I think we are all worth it!!

I think this episode is going to be very helpful to get you started on exploring what is working or what could be better with your sexytime. If you have any questions feel free to connect with me Emily Gaudreau or Xanet Pailet.

Find out more about Xanet Pailet here and her upcoming workshops here.

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