0024: Help Kids Face Fears: Aymii Couzelis & ENSOMA How to Change Your Life
How to change your life and teach your kids to face their fears.
Being able to change your life and take risks to improve your world is an amazing skill to have and one that we really need to be teaching to our kids. Knowing how to face fears and move through the stages that we all go through when we try something new is an amazing gift to give our kids.
This week I invited Aymii Couzelis who is one of the founders of ENSOMA. A company that sends new experiences right to your door.
She gave us some amazing tips of what to and not to do when helping someone of any age create change and take risks in their own lives.
What you will learn in this episode
♦ To change your own life or your child's, help them define why they need to change. What is the carrot that will motivate them/you?
♦ Define and redefine what success looks like and help them understand that definition can and will change and to be O.K. with that process.
♦ Help them create a reminder of where they started so they can look back and see how far they have come.
♦ Setting a length of time that they have to commit to something like a sport needs to be a conversation as to why that length of time was set. Keep talking about what is working and what is not so small changes can be made when needed.
♦ Forcing a length of time may end up making them feel like they have been punished for trying something new.
♦ The number one thing you should never do to motive some to try something new is to shame them. Teasing them for their efforts or saying anything that is not supportive is extremely damaging even if you are just joking.
♦ Create space to make a mess physically, socially and mentally. Let them know that the first round of their new adventure is going to be less than perfect. Give them examples of new things you have tried in the past and share how messy it got for you.
Home Work: Try something new this week and let your kids watch you face your fears, get messy and then afterward talk about what worked for you and what didn't and show them how to adjust goals based on the experience.
♦ Our brains are wired for risk avoidance so learning to take risks is a skill that needs to be taught.
♦ After taking a risk be prepared for “aftercare” and have someone for them to talk to about any issues that came up to make sure there are no negative long lasting effects if things didn't go as planned.
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